THE AD

$600 - 1br available in my huge, well-lit, quirk-friendly apartment

Reply to: no_ferrets@didujustcallmebitch.com
Date: 2005-03-30, 12:56PM EST


i have a bedroom available in my 2 br apt - my current roommate works in england and due to the hellish commute, has decided to stay there. so he's currently still paying his share of the rent but would like to stop doing so as soon as possible.

about the apartment: the bedroom is a decent size and has the better closet. The rest of the apartment (which is huge with a lot of light) consists of 3 living room areas, kitchen, front and back porches, a driveway plus plenty of on-street parking. it's on the second floor of a two-family house in a quiet neighborhood about a mile from davis square and the red line (theres a bus stop about 2 blocks away.) rent is $600 a month plus utilities.

about the utilities: the utilities are oil, electric, gas, cable and high-speed internet. i do have a land-line installed for work but i'm trying to get rid of it (the cell phone people keep insisting they can't find me a local phone number and to try again later.) so even if i still have it when you move in, if you don't use it you won't have to pay for it.
I'll even throw in a weekly tap-dance, complete with a juggling monkey. (FYI: he expects to be tipped.)

about me: i'm a 30 y.o. professional female (massage therapist/graphic designer/actor)who has two cats and a small Law and Order habit. I'm just discovering the joy of doing outdoor activities that require equipment (aka. snowboarding, bagpipes)and I'm a big fan of Stop and Shop and tacky religious knick-knacks. I dont smoke and i'm not a big partier. i like to keep the place clean in a non-anal kind of way (aka - please be someone who can share the tasks of doing dishes, taking out the trash and changing the occasional lightbulb.) I have a small clutter-habit, but it's nothing that i can't work on. And I don't think I'm lame, despite the description I just gave...

about you: as long as you don't think you're living in a frat house and can pay the rent on time, you're in the running. I'd prefer a non-smoker, only because i quit smoking about a year ago and if there are cigarettes in the vicinity i'll start bumming them off you. That would also get really annoying for you as the smoker (i know what its like.) But if you do smoke i'm not gonna say no, you can't live here. Just do it outside and, if possible, smoke something I hate, like cloves or marlboro reds. Please don't have any major drama (aka. a stalker, a split personality, or bulimia.) Quirky is great. Too quirky is not.

ex: hanging chicken carcasses along the wall in the shape of anything = too quirky.

also, you don't have a ferret.

right now the room is furnished with a bed, desk and bookshelf, but
between the two of us we can move things down to the basement until my
old roommate comes back to claim it. (but until he does, we have a nice tv and a dvd/cd/vcr/stereo set-up that took me about a month to figure out how to turn on.)

if any of this sounds interesting or if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

ps. I'm kidding - no bagpipes.

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THE RESPONSES

APRIL 1, 2005

Morning,
I have just finished reading you posting on Craiglist; I just had to write back.

Your posting is by far the wittiest and most amusing housing listing I have ever read--what a great way to weed out the unimaginative. Although I am unfortunately allergic to cats, I am almost tempted to pay one months rent to see the juggling monkey--now if you actually threw in the bagpipes--I'd be there.

Anyway, I hope you get a roommate who appreciates your sense of humor as well as complements it. Good luck exploring outdoor endeavors--I am highly recommending you add kayaking either whitewater or touring to your list. Have a great day and wishing you well in finding a roommate.
--Tyke
PS. I hope you find some peace with ferret owners.

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MARCH 30, 2005

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