BitchZoomy.2003

1981: Stephanie begins first grade at Stony Hill School, and "New Best Friends" are Karen and Jessamy.

1983: Stephanie develops her first crush on Jason Carter. Where is he now?

1984: Stephanie develops a paralyzing fear of vomit.

1985: Stephanie ditches friends Karen and Jessamy after petty jealous differences and meets Jana in Mr. Barnes's 5th grade homeroom class. Self-esteem development has already begun it's drastic deterioration.

1986: Enters Junior High with new best friends, Jana and Lauren. Slumber parties begin to involve seances, and prank phone calls. Due to the seemingly powerful prescence of Jana and Lauren, Stephanie's psyche continues to eat her alive.

1987: Stephanie sees the movie "Grease" again and is shocked by the sexual humor she never understood as a kid... I mean, really. "I Need a VAN?"

1988: Stephanie enters Minnechaug Regional High School.

(At about this point we will skip the boring details - "New Best Friends" remain the same yet with new names and new methods of torture. And by this point the psyche is damaged beyond repair.)


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