l i n k s  

...for your car, for your calculus textbook, for your mailbox, for your refrigerator, for your dog, for wherever it is you like to stick things, it's super easy to do ( and it's FREE)...



Yes Kids - www.EatyMeaty.com is bigger, better and open for business. It's been a wacky coup'la months at the meat factory but all is ready to go. Check out the new EatyMedia section, where we're slowly building a library of the dumbest videos ever made, and the Band of the Month section, which is featuring a story on Rocket from the Tombs and guitar greats Cheetah Chrome and Richard Lloyd. We have new Meat on the Streets, and the usual Puppet Lady column, Advice, MEATYscopes, Haikus and much much more...



"i think you should make a poem consisting just of your artwork titles. and then dance to it."



Welcome to the fully updated and functional home of Fat City Magazine in cyberspace.



Meet the lady who took her two passions (music and massage) and made an exciting career and book about it.



He's out to prove he's got nothing to prove.



It's okay - he's with the band...



There are people in this world who dress up and act like clowns; I don't like these people. I am not clownophobic (or to be politically /scientifically correct, coulrophobic). I do not fear clowns. Really. I don't. They are just not nice people. They scare little kids, they cause neurosis in some adults, they have big floppy feet, they try to fit too many of their kind in a car, I could go on and on...



If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels. These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. So being that my skills are obviously superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty to judge art work done by other kids on the internet. I'll be assigning a grade A through F for each piece...



hi, my name is sam. i draw pictures from your titles. send me a title, or any thing else you want to talk to me about...



I'm not gay, I'm not gay, but I dance around in a gay gay way! I'm not gay, no no way, but watching me dance will make you gay!



Enjoy the Money Now - Sell Your Body to Science Before You Die. Earn $20,000.00 per year or more, guaranteed. My revolutionary online course teaches everything you need to know, fast and easy or your money back...



"From: sooze
Sent: Saturday, July 03, 2004 9:45 AM
Please can I be taken off this list? I don't appreciate you telling women what they can and can't do during a lapdance. You'd be lucky to get one from anyone. I don't mind most of the shit you print, but when you start talking like a total wanker, degrading women it just makes me think, "Why the HELL am I on this mailing list??" So kindly remove me and stop sending me the crap you are so fond of spouting off. I'm a 16 y/o girl and I really don't want to hear an adult saying the type of bullshit you are full of. Thanks..."




Hostile undergarments for smiling professionals.



Burning Man is an annual art festival and temporary community based on radical self expression and self-reliance in the Black Rock Desert of Nevada. But trying to explain what Burning Man is to someone who has never been to the event is a bit like trying to explain what a particular color looks like to someone who is blind.



Born into a Boston family of artists, advertising people, and morticians, Pia has been turning everyday objects into art since 1977. (click People, page 3, and the thumbnail on the bottom right...!)



Eros Boutique is located in the heart of the South End, a trendy, upscale section of Boston, Massachusetts. We've been featured in national magazines, Jane, Penthouse, FHM & AVN. Our TV & radio credits include Ricky Lake Show, Christina, Playboy & Mancow. Our extensive online catalog features something for everyone, from exotic wooden whips, glass vibrators & latex/rubber gear, we are purveyors of on the edge fashion & sexual paraphernalia.



Here you'll find the cream of the crap; that special someone who's magically captured the essence of life in their Internet dating profile. Sit back and let the blood run from your eyes as you read actual Internet personal ads from people just like you and him in search of life, liberty and the occasional bumpin' of the uglies. Who knows, the love of your cyber life could be next door, or on a web cam in Michigan, or even just a click away in Kumtoosoonistan. East coast, west coast, Ivory Coast, let us all come together and learn from one another. Let us take it to a difference lever.



Chew HandzOff and keep both hands free all day!



Pin-Up NYC Magazine is a free online magazine that showcases Pin-Up girls and guys, features articles and interviews with authors and musicians from punk to rockabilly, indie, hardcore, ska, reggae, and rocknroll. Album, movie, book reviews, fiction, toons, sex advice, comics, this sexy ezine has it all!



You may know Steve from The Sopranos (he plays Silvio Dante) or as the longtime guitarist from Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band. Now you can get to know him as the coolest DJ in the country, a proud throwback to the late-night hipster jocks of long-gone 1960s and ‘70s FM radio.



The Fast Actin' Fuses were formed in Boston, MA in early 2001, and have since earned their reputation as a ferocious live act. Carly Carioli from the Boston Phoenix wrote, "the tunes are like AC/DC outtakes that've been sent away to Poison Idea's charm school." Playing live is what the members of F.A.F. love to do and it shows. To quote the Boston rock rag, The Noise: "When the FAF get going, they're a fuckin' steamroller of bad boy boogie." We couldn't have said it better ourselves.



While he didn't manage to become rich and famous in the process,Cheetah Chrome was one of the first guitar heroes of American punk rock who helped give underground music a soely needed kick in the ass in the mid-70's as part of the vital Cleveland,Ohio scene while also helping launch the punk explosion at CBGB.



The future of this super talented band is endless. If you haven’t heard of ONE MAN ARMY, be prepared to get very familiar with your new fixation and if you are already a loyal fan, keep spreading the word. OMA is guaranteed to take over the airwaves like a bullet to the heart. The time has come for a band to represent the people who really know how to enjoy music with a passion and that’s why ONE MAN ARMY exists!



The Official Resource of the True King of the Rock and Roll Underground.



I'm not gay, I'm not gay, but I dance around in a gay gay way! I'm not gay, no no way, but watching me dance will make you gay!



Enjoy the Money Now - Sell Your Body to Science Before You Die. Earn $20,000.00 per year or more, guaranteed. My revolutionary online course teaches everything you need to know, fast and easy or your money back...



Florence Henderson : America's favorite TV Mom takes on the World Wide Web...



Your brain has already been eaten. You stare blankly at one another for a few moments, then lurch off in separate directions.



We all know David Hasselhoff is a living legend. No other man has done so much for big chest hair and smooth chatup lines. David Hasselhoff is a god. Not only a magnificent actor/singer, but an incredible maker of television & film. Every woman desires him. Every man aspires to his hairy manliness. We want to know who these men and women are... and then kill them.



The Official Suzanne Somers Website! Your direct line to Suzanne Somers News, Information and Online Shopping. Also features Free E-mail, Chat Room, Discussion Forum, Suzanne's Book Excerpts, Thought of the Day, Somersize Recipe of the Day and much more!



Gail Worley! Rock Critic at large!



Simply put: the Marfas took their name from the famous west Texas phenomenon, but remain convinced that that's where the similarities end. Hailing from NYC proper, they are a band committed to the art and craftsmanship of music...but let's not get overly didactic or arty-farty, here, people.



The Antichrist will bring peace and prosperity on Earth... Nose hair is the latest French fashion craze... Cheney on F-Word Rampage... A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk into a bar... How to tell if your prostitute is an extraterrestrial... and much, much more!



THE ULTIMATE PUNK MUSIC STORE! With over 49,000 Punk, Emo, Hardcore & Ska items!



Clip art! Retro! Yes, we have that! Whoa doggie, it sure is hot down here in Texas! And what better way to keep cool (or warm, if you're a Yank), than to stay right there in front of that computer and browse our nifty original clip art collections! That’s right, we draw ’em right here, down in the Lonestar state. So grab yer mouse, and start a-clickin, y’all. Yee Haw!



Whoopass Enterprises was formed in 2003 to market products that were conceived while drinking Schlitz. We're committed to launching a new product every 6 months or so (depending on how much we procrastinate) - at least while we're solvent and not in the clink. So be sure to look back here for our latest items without which your life would surely cease to have meaning.



THE ATOMIC FAQ

1. Does John Waters own Atomic Books?
No.

2. Is Atomic Books a chain?
No. Atomic Books is one of those wacky things called a small independent business with one location in Baltimore, in the lovely colorful neighborhood known as Hampden, 1100 W. 36th. And no, we have nothing to do with Atomic Comics or Atomic Records or Atomic Magazine.

3. Do you guys do wholesale?
No. We are a retail bookstore.

4. Are you hiring?
No. Atomic is a small operation, with only the owners as full time employees and one dedicated part timer. The rest are happy go lucky fill-in-ers, generous volunteers and stalkers.

5. Do you guys still accept fan mail for John Waters?
Yes. But please do not call us for any information regarding John Waters. We won't tell you anything.

6. Will you publish my book?
No.

7. What's a zine?
A self-published periodical.

8. Don't you have a Starbucks around here?
No, and thank god we don't. We have FOUR independent establishments that serve coffee drinks AND a freakin' Tea House right on this street! We don't need no stinkin' Starbucks.

9. Do you buy old comics?
No.

10. Do you have a local authors section?
No. We put local writers, artists and music in with everybody else.

11. How do I get an event planned at or with Atomic Books?
The best way is to talk to Benn while he's drunk. But another way is to email either Benn, for music shows, or Rachel for book events, with details. Please send us information at least 3 months in advance of your proposed date.

12. What's downstairs?
The good stuff. Actually, it's just our office. And a bar. Which is open when we have certain events.

13. Do you have a print catalog?
No. It's all online.

14. What did this building used to be?
A very small bank. We still have the safe behind the counter. It's just too heavy to move.

15. Who made the mix playing on the stereo?
Fate. It's a 200 CD player set on random.

16. When does Scott come in?
Scott doesn't work here.



All Creams Are Packaged In Their Own Coolers. All Shells Are Packaged Separately. All Packages With Cream Filling Come With Their Own Pastry Bag. And the website has the scariest bakery music we've ever heard.



A whole world of film that just a few short years ago was considered lost or worthless. The industry that produced and distributed these films had long since vanished and there was no sign of these bottom of the barrel celluloid wonders. That is until now! From Best of Burlesque to the Raunchy Roughies!



Everyone has a different take on Jesus. Muslims and Jews saw him as a prophet; Buddhists say he was enlightened; Hindus consider him an avatar (the incarnation of a deity in human form) while Christians hail him as the Son of God. But, wherever your theological compass points, you will agree that this is the coolest action figure since G.I. Joe. Each hard plastic Jesus Action Figure stands 5" tall with poseable arms to reach toward the heavens and wheels in his base for smooth gliding action!



And we thought WE had a meat fetish...



MEAT IS MURDER! combines the taboo themes of violent death, murder, mutilation, gluttony and defecation to represent one of the most symbolically charged narratives in the human psychic repetoire. MEAT IS MURDER! is a unique and explicit exploration of cannibal culture from classical myth to contemporary film and fiction. It features an in-depth illustrated critique of cannibalism as portrayed in the cinema, from mondo and exploitation films such as Cannibal Holocaust to art house classics and horror movies such as Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It also details the atrocious crimes of real-life cannibals such as Albert Fish, Ed Gein, Jeffrey Dahmer, and Andrei Chikatilo. This improved, expanded edition includes a brand new chapter on cannibal zombie films such as Dawn of the Dead, Zombie Flesh Eaters, and Braindead, plus eight color pages of cannibal carnage and screen gore, and is fully updated. ADULT MATERIAL.



MikWright greetings. flowery? never. sappy? hardly. goofy? always. greetings that push buttons, poke fun, and provoke something. They're not here to make things better, only to observe and pass judgement.



Putting the fun back into fundamentalism and the laughter into sectarian slaughter.



...presents Paris Hilton's Doomed Ugly Sidekick, Nicole Richie.



The Home of the Baby Jesus ButtPlug.



Of all the things that shouldn't smoke, babies are at the top of the list. The tag line for this product emphatically states our position on this issue: Real Babies Should Never Smoke! Ceramic babies smoking, on the other hand, are strangely appealing. Celebrate this absurd juxtaposition with one of these 2 3/4" tall ceramic babies. Each infant comes with a pack of ten Li'l Smokes and has another one in its mouth, ready to light up and puff.



A deluxe brand-new Hello Kitty shoulder massager (which can be used for other purposes if you so wish it), this is a very large sized massager that unfolds into an "L" shape, allowing you to give yourself a vigorous massage along the back, shoulder and neck. It feels great! The massage is delivered through strong vibrating motors in Kitty's head, which is extra large and bulbous.



This thing really is the Holy Grail of Chia Pets. The Mr. T Chia was created as a promotional item for the TV Land cable channel. We imagine they were made to be given to corporate bigshots to promote their A-Team re-runs.



Stella Marrs is an artist and designer in Olympia, Washington with some of the most fabulous t-shirts and postcards we've seen, dealing with relationships, babies, inspiration, environmental activism, pesticides, and cats.



A lot of people have discovered that they can make a little extra money by auctioning off on the internet those extra knick-knacks they have lying around. After all, as the saying goes, one person's trash is another's treasure. But sometimes, trash is just trash.



Just choose 5 favorite Sushi to tell your future. It's a nice switch from the Magic 8-Ball.



Don't Link to Us! links to sites that attempt to impose substantial restrictions on other sites that link to them. The Linking Policy for Don't Link to Us! precludes us from requesting permission to link to a site, and compels us to link directly to the targeted page (i.e., a "deep link") rather than to a site's home page.



Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. Yea, even Popeye's shall be cleansed. The name of Bubba shall be anathema. We must stop the unbelievers from destroying the sanctity of our restaurants.



The Mütter Museum at the College of Physicians of Philadelphia has a giant colon that looks like a sand worm from Frank Herbert's Dune — arranged with one end rearing up from the tastefully underlit display. Doctors were applauded for being able to correctly diagnose this whopper a gross enlargement of the colon and not as a tumor — without using X-rays. This digestive distention serves as an inspiration to new generations of doctors, and a warning to those of us who sometimes feel a little backed up.



Air Guitar has been played for as long as electric guitars have wailed as the ultimate instrument of rock music and the guitar heroes of rock bands have been adored as idols. But what was previously a hobby to be pursued at home alone in front of the mirror or behind closed bedroom doors is now a public stage show in front of thousands of people.



Whether you spell it dodgeball, dodge-ball, or Dodge Ball, it's all the same game when you play with the International Dodge-Ball Federation! The Game Where You are the Target!



"Welcom to kushami room. I like to wacth and hear women sneezing very much. If you also like sneezing, let`s enjoy this page!"



So you're sitting there saying to yourself, "Adrian Zmed??? On the I.R.S. Corner Website? What Gives???" Well, my friends, yes, it's true. By virtue of a single song on a single I.R.S. Record, T.J. Hooker's sidekick gets his own page, immortalizing him in the I.R.S. Corner. Be that as it may (whatever the heck that means) we continue now with the illustrious Mr Zmed's Biography...



These instructions outline the procedures of packing a fresh brain for shipment to the NYBB. Upon request, we provide packing material.



That pretty much says what needs to be said.



You're only seconds away from degreedom! Just enter your name, pick your poison, decide when you graduated and VOILA! You'll be all set to print your diploma and hit the big time! Our goal is to make your degree entirely believable! So we built high-octane credibility boosters right into your diploma! Access these features once you've published-- experiment and decide for yourself which seem most effective!



The Supreme Resource for the Art of Insult... Witty putdowns, comebacks, offensive jokes, an insulting slang dictionary, the world's largest multilingual swearing archive of 156 languages, random insult generators, advice from our resident Sociopath, informative articles, and thousands of cutting and funny insults - you'll find them all here. Under 18s are less welcome than a Michael Jackson sleepover at a children's orphanage. Go watch the Teletubbies.



RPS is a decision making game of wits, speed, dexterity and strategy between players who are unable to reach a decision using other means. The result of a match is considered a binding agreement between the players. In the case of professional or tournament play the decision is replaced by honor points toward a championship title. RPS is a game played by honorable people and therefore every effort should be made to commit to the outcome. The game is played by substituting the elements of: Rock, Paper and Scissors with standard hand signals.



The Carol of the Bells, as sung by Skipper.



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